I'm having a really icky day. Really really icky. Like I want to tear off my skin and not live in it for a while. Angry. Resentful.
I spent the weekend in New Hampshire with my closest friends from high school. I haven't spent any significant amount of time with them for almost ten years. Nothing has changed. I haven't felt so happy, content and healthy in a very long time. Those girls - they don't just make me feel comfortable with myself; they make me feel better about myself. Unique, interesting and lovable.
And then I had to come home.
I have no close female friends here, but for one friend who hasn't really bothered to call or stop by for weeks now. I don't even really have many close male friends. I just don't have close friends. In fact, my closest friend is AJ and while I want things to be that way, I don't want him to be my only close friend - that just puts too much pressure on him and on our relationship. It's not healthy.
It's getting harder and harder to meet people, the older I get. I have less time, am more isolated physically from my peers.
This is hard...feeling lonely like this and missing the girls I just spent the weekend with. I need a posse. I need women.